October 2020

10 Alcohol-Free, Black-Owned Beverage Brands To Shop Right Now

Posted on October 22, 2020 | by Latiana Blue | Leave a Comment

When I quit drinking alcohol, I didn’t think about experimenting with alcohol-free drinks. I focused more on my physical and mental health, and regaining the confidence to socialize without inebriation.

Now, I understand how beneficial it is to consume healthy, tasty drinks throughout sobriety. I’m conscious of the packaging, ingredients, brand ethos, what the flavor does to my senses, and the aftertaste. It’s a visceral experience that never occurred to me while misusing alcohol. Quick consumption was the goal back then – feeling good is the goal today.

As the weather gets colder and holiday season approaches, many no-alcohol options provide great benefits. Some can support your immunity, and can make great gifts. If you’re alcohol-free or looking for alcohol alternatives, stock up on these Black-owned beverage brands for year-round comfort. I spoke with the owners of Calabash Tea & Tonic, Candid Tea, and Replenish Kombucha to learn more about the collective impact they’re working toward.

Brooklyn Tea

Brooklyn Tea, located in Brooklyn, New York is a calm, inviting nook offering loose leaf tea blends. Owners Jamila McGill and Alphonso “Ali” Wright have received an outpouring of support and press this year, including a shoutout by Shonda Rhimes on Twitter and a feature in Beyonce’s directory of Black-owned businesses.

Despite a surge in online orders, their commitment to community is still key to the work. They provide compost to a local community garden through Tahuti Ma’at, and recently launched their first Brooklyn Tea Scholarship and Community Leadership Award. The first scholarship assisted their employee, Euralis, with her college tuition. The inaugural award ceremony honored Little Sun People, a Brooklyn-based, culturally-responsive pre-school. Shop Brooklyn Tea | Follow @brooklyntea on Instagram

Calabash Tea & Tonic

Dr. Sunyatta Amen, owner of Calabash Tea & Tonic, is a fifth-generation master herbalist and naturopathic doctor. Based in Washington DC, she describes her tea shop as a “people’s pharmacy” that connects modern communities back to natural medicine. “When you’re out of touch with nature, you’re depleted. And that’s what causes anxiety, depression, and feelings of hopelessness,” Dr. Amen said.

A sociable alternative to the bar, Dr. Amen believes not serving alcohol has helped foster a strong, communal environment. “Being a part of community, to me, is the new sexy,” Dr. Amen said. And she walks the walk – Calabash Tea & Tonic has been rated Yelp’s most loved DC restaurant for 15 consecutive years. Shop Calabash Tea & Tonic | Follow @calabashtea on Instagram

BLK & Bold

Founded by Pernell Cezar and Rod Johnson, BLK & Bold is an online-only specialty coffee company that centers social impact and conscious consumerism. They donate 5% of profits to organizations that support marginalized youth, prioritizing urban farming and food justice programs, as well as education and wellness projects. BLK & Bold is sold at Target and Whole Foods, and is Amazon’s best selling coffee brand. Shop BLK & Bold | Follow @blkandbold on Instagram

Chicago French Press

Based in Chicago, Illinois, Chicago French Press was founded by Kris Christian, a former Wall Street analyst and lifelong coffee enthusiast. Christian wanted to cut back on the added sugar, eventually blending fruits and nuts to create a naturally sweet cup of coffee.

Chicago French Press donates 5% of proceeds to local organizations like The Take Back, which provides Chicago’s South Side youth with school supplies, meals, and scholarships. Shop Chicago French Press | Follow @chicagofrenchpress on Instagram

Candid Tea

Founded by Courtney Alexandria, Candid Tea started as a lifestyle blog and grew into a product-based, service-driven business. Though a lifelong tea-drinker, Alexandria didn’t know much about the wellness benefits found in tea until she eagerly researched. As Alexandria learned, her palette grew, and her passion for tea amplified. “Tea is so much more than liquid in a cup,” Alexandria said. “It’s accessible to anyone.”

She wants woman-identified folks to see themselves in each tea blend, so all products, like “The Game Changer,” are created with a meaningful intention. Alexandria also donates 10% of monthly profits to a non-profit or charitable organization. She selects local and national efforts that support, empower, and enable women to collaborate in community. Shop Candid Tea | Follow @candidtea on Instagram

Me & the Bees

Founded by Mikaila Ulmer at age four, Me & the Bees is a lemonade company dedicated to bee advocacy, youth engagement, and social entrepreneurship. Produced with ingredients like flaxseed and honey from bees, Ulmer, now fifteen, operates the business from Austin, Texas with her parents, D’Andra and Theo Ulmer. Me & the Bees promotes bee conservation through the Healthy Hive Foundation, and Ulmer’s memoir, Bee Fearless, was released in August 2020. Shop Me & the Bees | Follow @mikailasbees on Instagram

Replenish Kombucha

Angel Jackson, owner of Replenish Kombucha, is always thinking about alternatives to Western medicine. She started making kombucha for her family as a bubbly alternative to sweet teas and sodas – two staple drinks in Memphis, Tennessee, tastily known as the “barbecue belt.”

Replenish Kombucha, a family-run operation, is the only kombucha brewery in Memphis. “We’ve been warmly welcomed,” Jackson said. “Reaching out to community and letting them know who we are is still one of the most important pieces to our business.”

Through Replenish Kombucha, Jackson wants consumers to feel happy, fun, and active. “Your gut is the seed of your emotions,” she said. The gut-happy probiotics found in kombucha can certainly lead the way. Shop Replenish Kombucha | Follow @replenishkombucha on Instagram

Boss Blend Coffee

Driven by a desire to connect Black people with high-quality coffee, Kalisha “Fly” Carmichael founded Boss Blend Coffee. She’s been featured in the Museum of Food and Drink’s Black-owned business directory, and launched a GoFundMe campaign to crowdfund for operating expenses and team expansion. Shop Boss Blend Coffee | Follow @bossblendcoffeeco on Instagram | Support the GoFundMe campaign

Tea Please

With dessert-flavored teas, iced teas, and wellbeing blends, Tea Please founder Jasmine Oliver provides something sweet, chilled, and soothing. Serve yourself “Vanilla Horchata” for a daytime pick-me-up, or “Sweet Dreams” for a nighttime reset. Shop Tea Please | Follow @teaplease on Instagram

Muniq

Through Muniq, founder Marc Washington aims to preserve the legacy of his sister, Monica. She was diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes and passed away due to complications during childbirth. By centering gut health, the shake company urges us to understand the role that gut health plays in managing our overall wellbeing, from blood sugar levels to digestion and immunity. Shop Muniq | Follow @muniqlife on Instagram

No matter your flavor, going alcohol-free doesn’t mean your options will be limited. Actually, it can help you consume – and take care of yourself – in a brand new way. Supporting mission-driven, Black-owned business is the cherry on top.

Disclaimer: Our articles and resources do not constitute clinical or licensed therapy or other health care services. If you need counseling or therapy services please contact a licensed provider. If this is a medical emergency, call 911.

How I Navigate ‘Wine Mom’ Culture Without Wine

Posted on October 20, 2020 | by Celeste Yvonne | Leave a Comment

When I first quit drinking, I didn’t know what the plan was long-term. Was I taking a temporary break? Would this actually stick? Did I just have my last drink…ever?

But here’s what I did know about myself and my alcohol consumption: moderation did not work, because I never wanted to stop at just one drink.

I also knew that alcohol use disorder ran in my family and that my average 3–4 glasses of wine per night were way over the lines of ‘healthy’ for me. As a mother of two young children, parenting with a vicious hangover was perhaps the most miserable, self-inflicting pain I have ever encountered. After a night of drinking wine, I woke up one morning with a pounding headache and a weak stomach determined never to experience another hangover for the rest of my life.

I read books on unhealthy drinking, such as the Big Book and This Naked Mind Controls Alcohol. And I worked with a therapist on understanding my aching desire to begin drinking alcohol every night and numb out reality.

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Those first few weeks were difficult, but as long as I could control my environment and my schedule, I knew what to do to physically stay away from alcohol. If there wasn’t alcohol in the house, I couldn’t start drinking alcohol at home and around my kids.

Perhaps the most challenging part was navigating the experiences I could not control as a woman and a mother— mainly, social gatherings and the cultural norm of drinking. Weddings, funerals, book clubs, even moms sidelined at the Sunday afternoon soccer game are known to break out some bubbly or sneak cocktails in their tumblers.

Alcohol is everywhere, and to be social in this world often means to be surrounded by alcohol consumption. Especially when navigating what’s come to be known as “wine mom culture.”

What is “wine mom culture”?

Wine mom culture can mean something different to everyone. However, on the internet, wine mom culture has come to be associated with using alcohol to cope with the stress of parenting, to connect with other moms, and to find moments of relief by drinking. To me, one memory clearly defines the wine mom culture I had become surrounded by.

I remember so clearly a play date at another mom’s house, back when I was still early in my sobriety. Almost the moment I stepped through the front door, the mom giggled, “Mimosa time!” And my body froze. I did not know how to handle that. Yes, we can plan, we can engineer, and we can practice, but when it comes to social functions, things can frequently feel out of our control. We don’t have power over others. The good news is, we can control how we show up and navigate “mommy wine culture” with our own set of tools. (Hint: alcohol not included.)

How to navigate “wine mom culture”

Now, nearly three years sober, I’ve developed my own sobriety toolkit that I use in social situations where alcohol is present. Here’s how I socialize without the “mommy juice,” and have just as good of a time as everyone else (if not better!).

Always bring a fun drink.

I’ve become known for bringing a unique non-alcoholic beverage with me to parties now. Honestly, I just add it to the party cooler and share it with anyone else who might be interested. You can even drink it in a wine glass if you want. Spoiler alert: someone always wants to join the alcohol-free party. Sometimes people are just looking for an invitation to abstain, and a companion to do it with. My go-to alcohol alternative? Soda water with a splash of flavored vinegar.

Look for the other non-drinkers in the room.

There is a misconception when you’re drinking that everyone else is drinking too. When you start to look more closely, however, you will quickly recognize that there are almost always a few non-drinkers mingling (and having a great time, I should add). I realized that I wasn’t the only sober woman in the room. I frequently feel drawn towards those folks, and we have great conversations — without the cacophony of slurring that most social drinking elicits. Making more meaningful connections is a huge benefit of sobriety.

Put your own needs first.

I have learned that the importance of my sobriety trumps any sense of obligation or pressure. Whether it’s Christmas day or a dear friend’s wedding, if I ever feel triggered or unsteady, I give myself permission to leave. Full, unequivocal validation that my needs are important. If that means going home, so be it. If the people in your life are advocates for your wellbeing, they will understand. And moreover, they will actively support you. I’ve never regretted prioritizing my needs.

The freedom of sobriety is the most empowering gift I’ve ever given myself. However, it’s not always easy. As humans, we are socially structured and need to coexist in a world where most people drink. Being alcohol-free can feel ostracizing at times. You may wonder if you will ever feel comfortable in your own skin again, let alone going out to a party or a football game. But I can promise you that with time and practice, you too can enjoy the social engagement of life as you once did without an alcoholic beverage. The best part is you will remember what you did and said the next morning, too.

And that is something to celebrate.

How To Distance Yourself From People…And Alcohol

Posted on October 2, 2020 | by Team Monument | Leave a Comment

Our relationship with alcohol isn’t so different from our relationship with people. It’s complex, unique, and always evolving. One sign of an un-healthy relationship to anything or anyone is when our personal needs become secondary to the needs of something or someone else.

When a relationship that once brought us joy exhibits signs of abuse, heartache, and self-doubt, it’s safe to say it’s no longer serving us in the way that it needs to. Okay, so now what? When my patients describe unhealthy relationships with sub- stances or people, I recommend they take steps towards what’s called psychological distancing. Here’s how.

Psychological Distancing 101

Create new adventures

Psychological Distancing is a concept in developmental psychology. It focuses on building self-awareness in order to establish a sense of autonomy from  our surroundings and leave room for personal growth.

While we are all in some way attached to the people, places, and things around us, it is how deeply attached we are that can alter our self-confidence and sense of self. We naturally possess a sense of what we need to live our fullest lives, but certain circum-stances, relationships, and various forms of trauma can condition us to believe otherwise. The relationships we form to these people, experiences, and substances is what we call a narcissistic bond. Here’s how to break these bonds and get closer to our ideal-selves

“You are able to respectfully back away from an unhealthy attachment and begin healing. I tell my patients to think of acceptance as an act of self-love.”

Adventure can feel nonexistent in narcissistic relationships because what becomes your sole purpose is fueling the ego of the narcissist, or in the case of alcohol, dedicating all of your thoughts and time to drinking. It is as if there is one channel playing at all times. The good news is, you have the power to change it. Even the act of planning to do something outside of your routine can be healing. Engaging in new relationships, hobbies, and experiences outside of that unhealthy bond is an incredibly effective tool in creating necessary distance.

Understand your boundaries

In narcissistic bonds, we’re conditioned to feel that we’re nothing without the person or substance we’re bonded to. In reality, boundaries and independence are a necessary part of any healthy relationship.

In the case of alcohol, creating boundaries often means examining your relationship with drinking, and building coping mechanisms to create the distance that’s right for you. I wrote this piece to help you better understand what amount of distance, whether that means moderation or sobriety, will empower you to live your fullest life.

Therapy can be a really effective tool to build those coping mechanisms and create that distance. Therapy provides a platform to work on modifying self-destructive behaviors, obtaining healthier coping responses, building relapse prevention skills, establishing boundaries, improving communication skills, and increasing self-efficacy. If you’re interested in online alcohol therapy, I encourage you to check out Monument’s personalized treatment options. Members receive a specialized treatment plan, designed to help you reach your sobriety or moderation goals, while keeping in mind co-occurring conditions surrounding alcohol and PTSD, depression, and other mental health factors.

In relationships with other people, you can also work out boundary setting with the support of a therapist. Monument also offers a therapist-moderated online alcohol support group about navigating relationship challenges while managing your drinking.

And finally, it’s important to understand that sometimes boundaries aren’t enough. In relationships with narcissists, their suffering often plays out in a projection. They often see your emotions as weaknesses because that is how they view their own. And your emotions are valid and deserve to be recognized. Enter: accepting the end of unhealthy relationships.

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Radically accept things as they are, not as we wish them to be

Sometimes, the reality is that there is no way to keep a person, place, or thing in our lives in a healthy way. Whether that means you explored moderating your drinking, and decide sobriety is best for you, or are in a relationship with another person that is stripping you of confidence and joy. Accepting that you need to end that relationship may initially feel like failure.

It’s common to mistake acceptance with defeat. Acceptance isn’t throwing in the towel. So let’s look at the difference: The major distinction between acceptance and defeat is what brings you freedom. Acceptance gives back the freedom to move on from the narcissistic bond, and seek closure. You are able to respectfully back away from an unhealthy attachment and begin healing. I tell my patients to think of acceptance as an act of self-love.

Be aware of where you get validation

Regardless of where you are in your healing process, it can be hard to let go of the feeling that your character is built on others’ perceptions of you, and past behaviors. It’s crucial to be mindful of this. Otherwise, we risk filling any gaps of validation with substances.

So, ask yourself, what do I genuinely appreciate about myself regardless of what anyone has to say? Even the people whose opinions matter the most to me? Answer this question, write it down, and say it out loud a few times a day. Eventually, with practice, you’ll become your default source of approval. You won’t need validation from others or seek relief from alcohol. The narcissistic bond will break and you’ll step into the empowered, liberated individual that you are.